I guess I’ll try and do one of these every week. the last one filled up pretty good.
I’m settling into my new condition, whatever that may end up being. Some kind of fundamental suffering seems to be radically reduced. The thing way down the perceptual stack that drives suffering seems to now be largely absent, right in the center of the field. the habit patterns keep spinning, but now all I have to do is look, and they unwind themselves in a way that seems completely obvious and progressive in a way it didn’t used to be. Kind of like pedaling downhill instead of uphill. I think the thing that gets overlooked a lot in insight practice is that there are usually two interconnected reference points; the ‘watcher’ and the ‘feeler’. most aspiring arahats manage to see through the watcher, and hence take a big bite out of ignorance, but the feeler is often neglected, which explains how you end up with hardcore arahats having emotional flame-outs with surprising regularity. feelings always arise and always will, but when those feelings become the property of some delusional ‘feeler’ then you get the phenomena of conditioned emotions, much the same way as when visual /auditory experience becomes the perspective of a ‘watcher’, you get pathologies associated to the witness and the separation sense and whatnot. if you have no self and no feeler, then there are no such things as emotions, either, as long as we define carefully the difference between feelings and emotions: emotions are feelings that become tied into conditioned relationships with concepts, the self and the external world. In that light, the whole controversy of limited emotional range models and ‘affect-less’ pseudo-arahats playing with their own brainstems and amygdalae becomes a moot point: there never were any emotions to argue about in the first place. just feelings that a false self tried to make the property of a false feeler. let them rise and fall.
it really is completely obvious. all you have to do is quit distracting yourself with things that aren’t there.