M’kay, so where are we at now?

I’m pleased with the results of my month long dharma retreat ( and I mean retreat in the loosest possible sense ). Things seems to work better when I give myself one clear thing to focus on for some time. It’s nice to have your anthony robbins style goals list, but it’s easy to get fragmented when you don’t set rigid priorities.

So this month is the get-out-of-poverty month. It was all well and good to live a threadbare existance on the margins of society while I carried out my great magickal work in obscurity. That was just fine when material distractions were exactly that.

However, these days, being poor is turning into an impediment. When most of the things on my to-do list can’t get done cause I’m too damn po’, then that’s what they call a hint.

And god bless everyone who’s donated in the past to the alchemical initiative. I haven’t forgetten you, and I didn’t shoot all the money up my arm, I promise. My name is not aliester crowley after all. I appreciate the help and I welcome it, but this is not a solicitation. I need a real job, that isn’t going to make sick to my stomach on a regular basis.

I have a few ideas that should pan out in a short period of time. No more than a month one way or another. Probably more like a week or two. I will keep you posted.

One I’ve done that, we will see some hardware upgrades on this end that should let me take the initiative to another level. I was exploring avenues like skype and youtube for various uses before my old computer killed itself. Even being able to do sound editing at home with a machine that doesn’t run on a hampster wheel would be helpfull.

And the truth is, I need to be getting on with this part of my life anyway. I had my midlife crisis when I was about twenty and spent ten years on the flipside of reality, but it’s time to do what it takes to embody my vision in a more concrete way, and that means more $$ and it means more education in certain technical fields, and it means credentials that will open doors, and to do all of that, I need to know I’m not going go broke if something in my life zigs instead of zags.

This is not me capitulating to the system, mind you, I had always planned to storm the corridoors of power at some point, but not until I knew how to do it on my terms, and now I do. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong, and the poorhouse will always be waiting if I feel like reclaiming any dubious authenticity.

So, my updated, revised and prioritised list of goals:

-get a real job, this month

– when and if that is done, or when I’m not likewise engaged, maintain the dharma practice, specifically jhana and vipassana. the conduct side should take care of itself, if I can pull the job stuff off.

-produce some new content for the site. several ideas along these lines, although the one that comes to mind first may end being a worthy contribution to the field of 911 research, of all things.

– with the understanding that I will have some more money in short order, scout out a new computer, webcam, cd burner etc…

-get my flexibility routine back in order

-schedule another water fast, and prepare to see it though, armed with the experience gleaned from our first one.

the world belongs to us! even if it ends up being nothing but smoldering ruins, at the rate things are going…

Victory or Death!

14 thoughts on “Magickal Record 11-03-07

  1. Zac, as far as I can tell, paypal is completely broken. I gave it not only my credit card number, but also all the other insane personal information they seem to want to collect.

    I tried to send you $15CAD (even though my account is denominated in USD — I was gonna make it an even $20USD, but I figure $15CAD + currency conversion costs (don’t know exactly how much that is) should be close enough, give or take.

    Using a Discover card (which does have my current address and all that — I’ve been using it selectively for net purchases lately), which paypal claims to accept, and at the end of submitting all this address (why do they “need” my phone number to process an internet payment anyway? for a long time earlier this year, I didn’t even have an active phone)

    At the end of this silly process, it just says…

    “The credit card you entered cannot be used for this payment. Please enter a different credit card number.”

    No hint of a reason for this failure is given whatsoever.

    Paypal is broken now. A few years ago, I used to be able to use it to buy music downloads from russia, no problem. Then that stopped working, so my favorite mp3 site switched over to some other credit card processing agency, which also worked fine and dandy for a while. Then, just as I was finally back to getting a home net connection again, allofmp3.com pretty much kicked the bucket when they had reached the height of customer service excellence, as they said there was no longer any way to get money from a U.S. credit card to any payment processing system that they made use of. (mp3fiesta, though not as polished and flexible as the former, has been working quite well over the past couple months for me.)

    Anyway… Nitty gritty: With paypal on the fritz (for me), is there any other way to get a few bucks your way, while I still have a few, and they’re still (sort of) worth something?

    Like um, sending cash through the postal service? (bad bad idea, I know) You probably woudn’t be able to do much with my USD over there anyway. Oh well. I guess this is what the full spectrum global economic meltdown looks like, but a lot of people I run into on a daily basis still seem to have no idea it’s happening.

    Regardless, you have my gratitude. I’m in apotheosis, thanks in large part to absorbing the knowledge and wisdom you have dispensed over the past however many years.

  2. Hey, if you make a more detailed list of the gear you need I might be able to donate some. I’ll cover the shipping too, as long as it’s reasonable (I’m in Seattle.)

    I am a buyer of storage auctions so there’s always a flux of unpredictable shit in my garage. It would please me if some of the excess could assist in your Work.

    nothing is simple; everything is hyperbole


  3. Hmm.

    well, guys let me see…

    I suspect the credit card difficulties are isolated, because i still use it, and see it used on my behalf on many occasions.

    permit me to just make list of things i need, or things people can do for me, besides just dropping cash, and then if the spirit moves you, then have at ‘er…

    – I probably need at the very least, a new hard drive for my comp. I don’t really know how to format them or do instalation, but I can get someone to do that for me.

    – I’ve got a monitor, mouse, keyboard etc, so a new stack altogether is another option. one with a cd/dvd burning capbility idealy

    – in perfect world, i could use a laptop with all that integrated, with a webcam.

    – failing that, I need a webcam for whatever I do end up using.

    – if donations are out of order, then by all means go to my podcast home, or to the old tomb of horror. ( you will see some changes over there) and click some of the ads that seem usefull, or at least not utterly asinine. get those intelligent algorithms working in my favor. you may have to look a little bit.

    -besides all that, the usual linkage, refferrals, re-gifting of podcasts and whatnot are always welcome. I’m looking forward to the day someone unknowingly starts playing my own stuff for me….

    – if anyone feels like looking me up on itunes and leaving some comments there for me, that would be sweet. help me pull ahead of the pack a little bit.

    other than that? I’m interested in physical fitness gear, martial arts equipment, outdoorsy stuff like water filters, camping gear, flashlights etc… I anyone happens to be in mafia and ‘finds’ a truckload of ipods, I could stand to use one, and/or some detatchable storage for my podcasts and whatnot.

    there’s no need for anyone to be shy about soliciting my aid on their behalf either. we all hang together, or we all hang seperate.

  4. Right on Brother. I think I’ll go hunting for the ads to click on for now. Actually, analyzing what ads they’re throwing up next to your content content (that was meant as an adjective followed by a noun, which made very little sense except in an informational animistic sense, but it sounded funny since the spelling is identical) could be fun…

    I’m pretty much rolling around laughing right now. I’ve realized that my entire workplace is one great big psyop joke too. We all pretend like we’re in this hierarchy, but deep down, we’re not. We’re all just fools running around playing games, and sometimes taking ourselves way too seriously. (And helping to keep the town’s population fed… Never hurts to have something yummy around to eat, except when your food addictions become pathological to the point that they cause you harm. But even experiencing that “harm” can start to become fun, in a sense, if you think about it in a certain way.)

    If this is what more or less pseudo-de-illegalizing cannibis does to a town, I’m all for having it wherever it’s wanted. I just hope we don’t get all bogged down in the “medical licensing” game too much. As the federal infrastructure continues to fall apart and its powerbase loses value to the point that it’s all irrelevant, the myth of the DEA agents becomes just that: a myth; and when plants just start to pop up all over the place in undisputed yet unclaimed territories, and nothing is done to stop it, then maybe we can finally surrender and give up all this foolishness.

    Life is so wonderful. It’s wild.

    My inner taskmaster wants to beat me up. “Now, back to clicking ads so zac can afford some new hardware, slave.”

    “Yes master. One ad at a time.”

    Here we go…

  5. I’m not suggesting people click ads they have no interest in, or that they do so repeatedly. this is why I emphasise that people look for Interesting Ads. and besides, I just read the other day how google has other algorithms that screen out out anything that has a pattern suggesting click fraud. so anyone engaged in such a misguided effort on my behalf is doing so fruitlessly.

    on another note, I find it interesting how the schizoid nature of the internet has gotten to the point where if you suggest real people check out real ads for real purposes, that you might be a suspect in click fraud. I don’t doubt that you’re right alan, and that such a thing could happen. I just think it’s hilarious. makes me think the whole system of is on the verge of implosion. like robert anton wilson’s analogy of the secret-secret police who watch the secret police, and super-secret police who watch the secret-secret police… I’m sure that if Tim got wind of this, his devious little mind would cook up a whole string of posts. It’s kind of outside my subject matter, so he’s welcome to it.

    now quit screaming fire, you interet narc!

  6. Ah, such possible pitfalls never even occurred to me. Well…. I guess maybe it’s a good thing I got distracted last night, and then forgot about the whole thing until this morning.

    I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe I’ll wander though the archived ads later and see what’s there if I get bored. Then again, if that’s a legal snake pit, or just plain ineffective and silly, maybe it would be best to just leave the whole thing alone.

    This entire dialog is getting so utterly beyond absurd that I just have to laugh it out for a while, and wonder if this “internet” thing that we have created is just one big global lunatic monster that’s just waking up to consciousness (as had been theorized by rags like Wired Magazine long ago, but I never gave them a whole lot of credibility then) … Or maybe it’s like a second cousin of the demiurge. Who knows?

    Oh well. I’m going back outside where the sun is shining, and someone is running some kind of big motorized thing a few houses away. lol. lololol.

  7. I think your suggestion is completely sound Zac, it was really Bitscape’s comments:

    ‘Now back to clicking ads so Zac can afford some new hardware’ and ‘one ad at a time’

    that I could see someone buggin out over (granted most people don’t know much about this advertising crap, so no biggie Bitscape). I only mentioned as I had a bit of trouble at my old company – never meant to wig anyone out!

    Apparently 50% of all ad clicks are done so for other purposes beyond ‘real people checking out real ads for real purposes’, which begs the question: is google really inept at stopping click fraud, or do they just want to appear as though they are taking moves to tackle it (those algorithms sound mighty fine) whilst making sure they do absolutely nothing at all?

    Hmm. I think I’ll raise this at the next team meeting…

  8. hmmm, yeah. didn’t think of it that way. well, if our whole online economic system weren’t so hampered by all the antiquated global corporate bank-state rules that made paypal turn into such a mess (it *was* very useful at one time), I could have just sent zac $20 to buy a new microphone (or whatever he needs) and been done with it.

    Now, it seems like we’re all just a little bit stuck…

    But that might only be for a moment. Who knows, maybe if I tried paypal again with a different card, it would work now?

    (I’m getting a bit skittish about that sort of thing though, cause when I used one of my legacy credit cards to pay for the new radiohead album, and used google to do the currency conversion myself, I thought 5 euros would translate into roughly 10 bucks. (ok, so google said it would be around 8, but I figured they’d probably add some kind of fee, etc) Turned out when my bank statement came, they said it was just under $14.)

    I thought “oh well, such is the cost of doing business globally”, and paid the balance without complaint. But I gotta be very careful, cause it seems like new unexpected expenses are now popping up all over the place.

    (Like last night when the phone bill came, the outrageous $10 Qwest tacked onto our bill for a 3 minute collect call made from Washington State to Montana State (i.e. a couple hundred miles) over a month ago. At first, I thought someboy was trying to defraud us, but then carefully reviewed the bill. Qwest was simply forwarding charges from MCI — a company with a long legacy of true outright FRAUD against customers.

    (Back in college, I heard an earful about MCI from a tearful friend who was worried about having her credit rating ruined forever because their “customer service” people simply WOULD NOT remove over $500 from her bill for alleged overseas calls she simply did not make. Even after hours and hours of talking her way up the management chain, insisting that there must be some mistake, they would not listen. Maybe their system was racially profiling her and assumed she was lying because she happened to be from russia. Grrrrrr.)


    Later, after I had had time to think about the whole thing, I came back and apologized to my roommate while he sat silently… I had had one of the most stressfully bizarre days at work *ever*, but even still, the last thing I should have been doing to a person who works more (and gets paid less) than I do do was ranting at him about a stupid $10 that he’ll probably pay me for eventually anyway.

    (Sidenote: spoiled rotten Sorority girls who have never, ever worked in retail are an absolute POX on society, especially when they arrive pseudo-flash-mob style, and very well might have “friends” on the inside who have figured out how to work the volume on the store’s overhead sound system. That’s all merely speculation on my part though…)

  9. Objectively, it’s been just over 2 weeks since the last comment I posted above, but that can seem an eternity when your brain seems to be constantly rewiring itself like a science experiment gone mad.

    Anyway, the alchemical retuning continues… but getting to the point, now that I’ve updated my information with a few other financial institutions I hadn’t done business with in a while, made myself an “active economic node” to the global banking system again, and given paypal a little more of my datawake, it now seems to work fine with whichever credit card I want to use… and hopefully that $19CAD found its way to zac a couple days ago… (a pittance compared to the value I feel I’ve gained as a result of absorbing the material here over the past couple years, but I figure something is better than nothing… been feeling compelled spread the wealth around just a bit, while being careful not to put myself into debt enslavement)

    …and now, the new credit card offers pour in on an almost daily basis again…

    How predictable.

    Anyway, hope things are going well in your world zac… (and to anyone else monitoring this thread)….

    P.S. Also, I no longer believe there was any sort of sorority conspiracy… Just a stressed out retail employee who happened to encounter some very odd synchronicities on that particular night… Sometimes, getting back to basic mundane reality becomes a necessary element of staying sane. Peace.

  10. yup. got the $$. thank you.

    just a little shout out to the gang:

    yeah I’m alive. and yeah I’m working. for now I’ve got a full time job for the first time in maybe 6 years, which doesn’t really pay more by the hour but adds up to a lot more in the end.

    the good news however, is that there’s probably a 75% chance of scoring a government job in a bout 2 months that pays about 20$ an hour plus a shit-ton of benefits.

    it’s not exactly my dream to be a lacky of the corrupt and dying order, but I’ll just think of it as a tantric excercise… a descent into the hell realms of beauracracy and base material, from whence i shall return with lots of bling. It’ll pay for my higher education, and no risk of debt slavery. I’m running my life backwards: spirituality, high paying job, and THEN school. I recommend it highly.

    that, and I’m moving tomorrow, into a much nicer set of digs, with the girl.

    Power Upheavals! but new material should be begin in earnest before too long.

    …like i haven’t said that before, right?

  11. “descent into the hell realms of bureaucracy” might be my theme song… you’d be surprised just how boring the internet could be… well, whatever, there’s something to be said for being able to have duck for dinner courtesy of some boring job… but why the fuck am i not “wanking for cash” again? is it maybe because the entire universe is so back-ordered in sigils-for-cash by every “xa0s maj1ki4n!!111”?

  12. Congrats Zac – sounds like your making a number of positive moves in your life.

    You know, in the past I ‘ve been a magician who refused to work, lived on benefits on a council estate and ‘wanked for cash’; and I’ve been a magician who ran his own business, raked in the dough and lived it up in the Big Smoke. And I can tell you: the latter made me more happier, healthier and wealthier (in wealth-as-the-provision-of-freedoms sense) than being a lazy bum relying on the very system I was supposedly rebelling against. Short of a 100% self-sufficient hermit like existence, there’s no escaping the system; better to gain a modicum of control over your material circumstances and get a seat for yourself at the table, rather than having to live with limited opportunities and subsisting off the crumbs of those who can actually make money without having to resort to ‘bending reality’.

    I’m actually working for local government at the moment – the ineptitude is beyond comprehension, but I can’t complain – it allows me to do most of my writing and get paid for it!

    Good luck with the job Zac – looking forward to your new material…

  13. Glad to hear you are prospering, Zac.
    Good luck with it all.

    I look forward to hearing more of your stuff, when you get settled.

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