wanted to write something today, even if it’s not too scintiliating.

First I was kind of sick, then I was just busy, now I feel like I have too many ideas in my head to act on succinctly.

When I got to the end of the by-now-notorious debacle that was the augoeides project, I felt like one of the conclusions I had drawn was the need to take stock of my body of work here, and try to integrate the understandings that came out of it.

It may seem odd, but a lot of the things that come out here pass my lips or my keyboard without really registering in conscious mind. I spend a fair bit of time going over this stuff and wondering where the fuck it came from ( as I’m sure many of you do as well ) I sometimes feel as if this site is put together by my alter ego.

I eventually realised that this site was my ‘download’ in the phillip k dick or holy guardian angel sense, but not untill there was so goddamn much of it, that it breaks your head on the way in.

I’ve also noticed that the best received stuff on this site is the stuff that I’ve taken the time to fully think through and make sense to myself, rather than the disjointed babbling that sometimes comes out.

But anyway, the point is I’m doing a lot of that heavy lifting behind the scenes right now, and hashing out the shape of things to come. I’ve got a great backlog of ideas to implement, but I need to improve my hardware situation to get back into the 21st century, and get clear about what the hell I’m trying to say and who I’m saying it to. I realise a lot of the time I’ve been talking to myself, and while there’s a time a place for that, it may be time to set it aside for awhile.

Besides all that, I’ve formed a resolution to quick fucking around and finally get this arahat thing done. I’ve got about ten years of formal buddist practice in, and like much else here, it goes in fits and starts and I’ve gotten to the point where I know exactly what to do and how to do it, so everything else has to take a back seat for a bit. I’ve resolved to finish the path within 30 days. I’m on day 3 of that now, and I’m just digging deep into samatha jhanna practice for 10 or 12 hours a day to tighten up my concentration and make the subsequent insight manuevers easier.

At a certain point, gotama knew he had enough raw materials from studying with various teachers to finish the task he had set forth for himself, so he resolved to sit under the tree, and not get up until it was done. Like many things, it was about will.

Does anyone think you become enlightened without deciding to become enlightened? Not deciding to TRY. Fuck that. But deciding to DO IT.

“The training is nothing! The will is everything! The will to act.”

and so it is…

11 thoughts on “under the tree

  1. true. but the nice thing is, it gets easier as you go along. the constant apllication and re-application for access is a bit of headache-maker for the first day or so, but when you can glide on the wave of 2nd jhanna, life is more fun.

  2. But what if there really is no “ULTIMATE ENLIGHTENMENT” & you’re just wasting your time w/10-12 hours of jhanna per day?

    Intersting experiences, wisdom to gain, insights, etc. – yes. But ultimate, forever, Buddha-like enlightenment? I doubt the path of reaching that via effort more & more daily.

    I recommend you read up on some U.G. Krishnamurti before you get too gung-ho about a process that may be an illusion….

    (just my illusionary duo centavos)

  3. Wasting time with 10-12 hours of jhana per day? I don’t know if that can actually work as a sentence. As much as we may think our daily time is horribly important, it seems to me that 1 month of concentrated practice like Zac is undertaking is a much better use of time than most anything I can come up with… What else is he supposed to do, make idle conversation with people he talks to all the time anyway, or write/podcast until he’s blue in the face (though I’ll hold you to that when you’re done with the month Zac…need something to listen to while I’m in asana for now…)? Discipline is not only the way TO freedom, it is the way OF freedom. Anyway, I won’t go off anymore, just wanted to say I commend the efforts, and I look forward to hear what comes out of it.

    Love is the Law.


  4. Isn’t it delightful that that when you start talking about something like full enlightenment, someone always comes out of the woodwork to tell you it can’t be done?

    But do please let me be clear: I wouldn’t be talking this way if I didn’t know of which I speak. I know what it is, I know what it feels like and I know how to attain it. I’m perfectly aware of who krishnamurti is, but I doubt he could tell me anything to change my thinking on this. I suspect his position is largely semantic.

    I’m afraid it has more to do with a certain postmodern, politically correct taboo on talking about utlimate realisation that thrives in our culture, than anything real or binding.

  5. well if you have a misinformed inkling about what “enlightenment” constitutes, of course you are going to start tilting at the windmills. actually, i think i am going to get punk rock about it and just start telling folks that I am going to get fully enlightened, just to piss them off, and i am still just working on Knowledge of Mind & Body. That and make bold promises to master the siddhi.

    that, and 10-12 hours of concentration practice, even if “enlightenment” doesn’t exist, is going to be valuable no matter what. Come on, most people watch 4 hours of TV a day. Is strengthening the mind a bad thing, especially considering how most people spend their leisure time in front of a screen?

    I also suspect that U.G. Krishnamurti’s position is largely predicated on a semantic dispute over delusions about “enlightenment”, and a general disgust with the “spiritual” scene. Likewise he seemed relatively concerned with ethics, and rightly so, especially in the goofball guru climates that spring up in this scene. At the same time, he “wasted time” living homelessly intermittently on account of what I’d consider a bad attitude, but I can understand.

  6. There Is No There: UG might have some good things to say about enlightenment, I know he has helped me on the path. I guess you might say he advocates an extreme version of “sudden enlightenment”. He is good at crushing your preconceived notions and screwing with your head (an essential part of getting enlightened 😉 ), but as far as actually teaching people how to go about things goes, I don’t know… It seems at times as though he doesn’t even know himself how he crossed the dark night.

    Anyways if you don’t think there is such a thing as final enlightenment… How could anyone convince you otherwise? It’s impossible for enlightened people to just say “there it is!” (though you might find some difference in their brains, dunno). I guess the ones who really want to know what it looks like are the ones who caught the bug…

  7. Best to you, zac. You’re efforts of value. I value the thoughts of UG and of the other Krishnamurti as well…but, in the end, I ain’t been where they’ve been so to take them at their word without experiencing anything for myself is just that same ol’ hearsay trap, I suspect, just vibing off a different brand of enlightenment hear-say. I take them under consideration, but I’ve gotta go it alone, as does everyone.

    We’ve all gotta check it out for ourselves (a path, a “way,” just some damn committed actions with a clear trajectory) and do it for ourselves…or not. Everything else is just homo-sapien mouth noises and tappy-tappy finger movements.

  8. “There are three monks, who had been sitting in deep meditation for many years amidst the Himalayan snow peaks, never speaking a word, in utter silence. One morning, one of the three suddenly speaks up and says, ‘What a lovely morning this is.’ And he falls silent again. Five years of silence pass, when all at once the second monk speaks up and says, ‘But we could do with some rain.’ There is silence among them for another five years, when suddenly the third monk says, ‘Why can’t you two stop chattering?”


Leave a Reply to cadeveo Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s