Evolution by the Numbers: Number Fifteen

number fifteen: abandon comfort

almost by definition, the ideas of growth and evolution are antithetical to any notion of comfort.  Any area in which you are content to simply wallow in an established state of affairs, is one where are not pushing yourself.

The area of physical and mental activity which is your normal or current comfortable domain is almost certainly some minuscule slice of what your total capacity for free action actually is.
Which is not to say that you must never enjoy a rest or some luxury now and again, and it’s hard to find something that can’t be put to some constructive use, or interpretation, but again, it’s a matter of intent. If you’re out to kick back, veg out and stop thinking, questioning or watching, you have Lost the Plot.

Augoeides Finale 1 of 3: you don’t have to live like a $%#@ing cockroach

In which I pinch some conceptual structure from the buddha in order to pull it all together.  Enjoy my convalescent,  semi-fevered ravings on virtue, plato vs aristotle, why rationalisation is bullshit, and living a human life. And since I’ve mentioned it so many times; how to find out what your own values actually are.

 podcast page

Direct download: AUGF-_dont_have_to_live_like_a_cockroach.mp3

Magickal Record 03-09-07

well. that’s another week of my life I won’t be getting back.

Much of my practice has stagnated, partially because of an ill-advised binge of internet checkers, of all things, partly because I’ve been feeling a bit sick, and partly because I’ve realised if anything is going to get done vis a vis the clinic I’m involved in, it’s business practices, decision making and whatnot, I’m going to have to do it mostly myself. While I was doing security work, and assuming it was getting along satisfactorily, the real situation has been a combination of naive indifference, and benign neglect. So it’s roll up your sleeves for interminable meetings, green meme hand wringing, and attempts at financial success through the grace of god. Sounds ludicrous? So it should. It did to me too, when I realised this was the ‘business plan’.

Anyway, I’ve probably backslid in my insight practice to a somewhat less pleasant stage of agitation and irritating vibrational phenomena. I spent much of yesterday night trying to make that up, and get back to where I was, which is close to ‘fruition’ as it were.

Part of that is coming to a certain level of acceptance with my situation, and the basic facts of life in general. It’s one of those classic ‘ you can only move from where you are, not from where you aren’t ‘ kind of things. I have no fear of the truth. I just need to find it first.

There’s no point thinking about stage 5 of the alchemical intiative, when stage 2-3 is faltering. Build a realtionship with reality, kids, it will do you well.

Luckily, money continues to fall from the sky. I wouldn’t want to build a lifestyle on it, but that’s pretty much what i’m doing right now. I have turned from the David Blaine of occultism, into the Cosmo Kramer of occultism. Such is my burden. Quiet dignity is my only option.

The gym is a highlight. I didn’t get into it to look better, but it’s nice to see that I do. That and either I’m getting a lot stronger, or I’m just using what I’ve got in a more coordinated fashion. Bit of both I guess. My cardio training approaches the level of ascetic mortification. But you gotta discharge the stress somewhere, might as well be in the gym.

My work on this site is faltering as well, mostly for lack of a coherent idea. Not lack of ideas, i have plenty of those. just a certain level of cohesion which ‘my mind’ seems to lack in general right now.

dietarily, I’m doing somewhat better. I’ve been doing a mineral supplement consistently twice a day, and it seems to have helped. More water though. I’m sweating a lot lately.

Got some new glasses, which I’ve only needed for about a year now. Let this herald a new aeon of clarity.

and the updated goals list, of course… 

-one hour of just jhanna, seated, every day

-another hour just vipassana, every day
-take my ordination test

-stretch my neck and inguinal area twice a day rather than just once, as I do now.

-perfect my weightlifting form

-clean up my diet definitively, so as to remove my recently acquired allergies and maintain good energy levels ie; eliminate bread, dairy, pesticides, additives and whatnot as much as possible. eat more fresh food.

-get a new mic

-fast one day a week

-stop swearing altogether, except for artistic usages.

-assess my material possessions and dispose of anything extraneous asap.

-create something for the site every day, even if it’s crap and I throw it out right away.

-get a cellphone to receive calls for the clinic, prefferably one I’m not paying for..

-get the website up to a traffic level where ads and donations are a significant portion of my income ie; post something every day, for starters.

-variously, attract business propositions on the basis of my work here.


Evolution by the Numbers: Number Fourteen

number fourteen: expand the pie

This is a real simple concept, that’s hard to get your mind around sometimes. particularly in this age of consumerism, where everything is about maximising profit and minimising loss, and ‘externalising’ the downside of everything, which is just a nice way of saying ‘shit in someone else’s well, not your own’.

The strategy that nature actually uses is totally not that way, and the sooner human beings get our collective heads around it, the better off we’ll be.

Quite simply, what you want to do is, in every interaction you have, be it business personal, environmental or whatever, is to enrich the total field of resources from which you are partaking. Rather than just taking the biggest piece of the pie, take your piece, but also do something to expand the pie, so there is now more for everyone.

This is the true meaning of ‘economic growth’ which gets lost in an endless stream of cooked books and starving people. If you advance technology, enrich relationships, build trust, open up the playing field, add to a common resource, then everybody wins and everyone does better.

The real problem in the world, if you had to pick just one, is what’s called ‘the tragedy of the commons’. Basically, if everyone abuses a common resource in some relatively minor way, magnified by hundreds thousands, millions, that resource is destroyed.

One person trampling the grass on the way to work is trivial. A hundred people will wear tracks in the earth. A thousand will turn that field into a mud-hole with nothing in it, in short order.

Abusing someone’s feelings in some small way for the sake of expediency might seem harmless, but that’s why relationships end: eventually all you have left is a list of times someone has abused you and taken away from whatever common well of empathy you started with. If you took the time to build empathy, build trust, add to communication, that wouldn’t happen.

Are you going to tell someone they can’t take that shortcut, catch that fish, abuse that trust, take advantage of that privilege? Maybe, maybe not, but if everyone does it, you end up in the situation we’re in today. Everyone means well, or at least not too ill, and yet we’re still fucked.

It’s relatively easy to apply this to nature, because this is what nature tries to do anyway. It’s not too much of a leap to tend the ecology of our minds, our society and our relationships, much the same way.

Augoeides Roundup


 I recorded and little pocket summary/introduction for those who might be a little uncertain about diving into this blind. or else just can’t be bothered listening to the whole thing:

podcast page

Direct download: AUG29-the_morning_after.mp3

more in-depth techincal analysis for the hardcore lifers, to come soon enough…


 Well, seeing as I’m about ready to record the capstone to this self indulgent pig of a project, I thought a pocket summary and roundup of the 28 ( ! ) podcasts in the series so far might be order.

  Some are short, some are long, some are extremely emotional, others detatched and technical, some insightfull, others reactionary…but overall I think you can see the cumulative change brought about in the course of the whole thing. A comprehensive rewrite of my whole being, from the way I think and act, to my job, hobbies, and spiritual practices. Exultation and Despair, and everything in between.

    Certainly I never intended that they all be definitive listening, but more rather as complete a document of a working of this type, as I’m aware of ever being done. Not all of it is essential, or even important, but in the long run I’m content to have it here, warts and all, in the public interest.

   Part of the finale will be summarise the whole thing for those of you who can’t be bothered to listen or re-listen to some 7 hours of material, so while I’m tempted to mark a few of these as recommended listening, I will instead denote the size of each and leave it in your hands.  if you’re curious about a particular piece, the individual posts should tell you a bit more.

 AUG28-if_you_call_I_will_answer.mp3 16 min

AUG27-nothing_else_matters.mp3 19 min

AUG26-crossing_the_threshold.mp3 15 min

AUG25-Peeled_Right_Back.mp3 9 min

AUG24-aint_nuthin_over_till_its_over.mp3 14 min

AUG23-Fall_or_be_Pushed.mp3 13 min

AUG22-A_clutter_of_swords.mp3 14 min

AUG21-to_walk_by_faith.mp3 18 min

AUG20-borne_upon_the_waves.mp3 14 min

AUG19-crowned_in_shadows.mp3 20 min

AUG18-the_serpent_loom.mp3 14 min

AUG17-patience_and_endurance.mp3 10 min

AUG16-exit_strategy.mp3 11 min

AUG15-mask_of_bones.mp3 16 min

AUG14-totality_symbols.mp3 18 min

AUG13-till_the_end_of_the_night.mp3 16 min

AUG12-A_Single_Thread.mp3 11 min

Aug11-_The_Human_Problem.mp3 14 min

Aug10-_Crawling_from_the_Wreckage.mp3 8 min

AUG9-Was_and_Is_and_Will_Be.mp3 23 min

AUG8-I_AM_HE.mp3 10 min

AUG7-_toward_the_center_of_the_weave.mp3 15 min

AUG6-_all_of_me_youre_going_to_get.mp3 28 min

AUG5-Rise_Up.mp3 16 min

AUG4-get_thee_behind_me_satan.mp3 13 min

AUG3-commend_me_into_the_arms_of_demons.mp312 min

AUG2-Laying_it_Down.mp3 17 min

AUG1-priming_for_the_reintegration.mp3 22 min