Apologies for the silence.  Besides burrowing through the stages of insight, I’ve been contemplating some new subjects for the site, as I’m starting to feel as if I’ve exhausted some of my characteristic obsessions for the time being.

   In any event: on monday, after several hours of exquisitely agonising observation of fundamental suffering, I seem to have crossed into the insight stage of equanimity, as I feel mostly relaxed and calm without even trying most of the time right now. Every day or so, I fine tune some observations, and last night I found that I was observing the three characteristics ( non-self, suffering, impermanence ) in my sleep, which ought to be a good sign. 

  One of the things that debunks the delusion of self is realising that the sense that most people have of a ‘watcher’ inside ones head or somewhere thereabouts, is really just a set of sensations like any other, and not somehow separate, special, watching, or in control of other sensations. The idea that your sense of self is not really any different than the sense of your foot, and that neither one is the seat of awareness, is kind of odd, yet  this is a doorway to liberation. When I actually observed this yesterday ( as opposed to merely working it out intellectually, which is fine, but useless for real insight), my mind was apparently so shocked by that, it spend all night trying to find a new reference point, even interrupting my dreams in the process.

   It’s very uncomfortable to notice the moment to moment convulsion of awareness that causes you to twist your perception around into a sufficently tight knot that you don’t notice that you are not in fact seperate, but part of everything. If feels like a muscle spasm in your brain. And you do it almost every single moment of the day.

   When you notice this clearly enough to see that it really sucks and that it’s crazy and you’d be much happier if you quit doing it, you get to become enlightened. Simple as that.

   As  a minor digression, anyone who thinks becoming enlightened automatically bestows psychic or siddha powers is probably slightly confused. They do seem to interrelate but the intention to do one does not necessarily lead to the other or vice versa. I think it’s just when you stop the mental twister game in your head, you have all these other limbs free and extra attention to like, levitate your begging bowl or stop bullets in the air and shit.  More on this at a latter date, obviously.

   I resolved to raise the standard for my flexibility training again. I look like a tool at the gym, but I could kick most of their asses, so fuck em. You might wonder what the big damn deal is about being flexible, but it just so happens that I started with a martial art back in the day that is founded on exacting postural training that really confounds most white people who use chairs and toilets with seats and stuff. A few degrees of rotation in your neck or hip might not seem like a big deal but when someone is swinging a naginata at you, which is a six foot staff with a three foot razor blade on the end, it might be more clear. Not that I actually do that, but that’s what it’s designed for. Wooden swords hurt enough already anyway.

 Next week is the start of our advertising at the clinic, and I’m manning the phones most of the time, so It’s long days on the meditating bench next to the phone I guess. When I’m not helping diabetics whose legs are rotting off, or the usual spinal distortions masquerading as ‘stress’.

   The diet goes well. I usually get in one huge bowl of green stuff every day, and a couple snacks. My energy is coming up steadily. How much of that is good cardio and how much good mineral intake is not clear, but I don’t really need to know.

 As for this site, I’ve got lots of balls in the air, but here’s a quick update:

   Augoiedes: One more and that’s done. I’m holding off till this fruition is really to drop. Maybe another couple weeks at most? Hard to say.

  Mosaic Effect: Always good for whatever I feel like talking about. I’m still open to requests. I’m thinking of taking a detour into some futurist stuff.

 Evolutuion by the Numbers: I’m sure there will be some new ones here and there to fill the gaps, but my main impetus is pretty much done by number twenty or so. Most people seem to realise that all you really need to do is one or two of them, so piling on more and more is kind of sadistic.

  Systematic for the People: I kind of got bogged down in the systems theory stuff. It all kind of sounds the same after a while. It’s not all the same, but it’s hard to make the language pop. My original plan was to go to 18 in that way but I may boil it down to another few, and then change tack again.  

  Magickal Record: It’s done when I’m done.

Goals List:

 -sustained effort in insight and concentration practice.

-raise the bar in flexibility training

-kung fu training outside

-incrementally improve alkaline diet

-new mic ( yes really)

-prep for a one week straight water fast

-clean your fucking room

-clarify new directions for the site

27 thoughts on “Magickal Record 03-29-07

  1. A humble wish-list with regard to “requests”…

    -I’ve long thought it would be cool if you did a sort of once-over on Aleister Crowley for those generally unfamiliar with his works (ie, me). I just now remember your Mosaic Effect entry about Buckminster Fuller and thought that approach worked well — using a single individual as a launch pad into a certain topics (pattern integrity, in that case).

    -Would love to hear more of your recent “pop culture” explorations (Fight Club, Donnie Darko, Sopranos, etc). The Simpsons (Rushkoff & myth interconnection)? Jim Morrison (and urban shamanism)? Zombie movies (and steering through the drowsing masses)? Just pulling these out of my ass, but I think occasional episodes of this sort might do well to increase your audience.

    -“setting up a ruler”, as you mention in AB2. Would love to hear more about this. As much as I think I know what I want (or realize the larger principle to which I submit), sometimes I feel that all of my energy is like a barbarian horde without a bad-ass general to follow… even if this horde is perfectly capable of “imagining” this perfect general, with all of his perfect movie-crafted speeches.

  2. Did you do a naginata class? If so, what was it like? I’ve never seen it in the states before so I don’t know much about it. There’s one near where I live and I’m up in the air between naginata, judo, kendo, and aikido.

  3. it was part of the japanese budo curriculum in ninjitsu. it’s not terribly useful in and of itself, but it might teach you some awareness of psace that you don’t get without training in long weapons.

    if you’re looking for practicality, take the judo for six months, till you learn the basic ideas and get a sense of how hard grappling feels, then quit before you break any bones or blow out a knee or ankle and switch to aikido and notice how they do the same stuff with more technical subtlety but less realism.

  4. I find it interesting that so much of this site is devoted to processes we might call “self-discovery,” “self-realization,” and “self-examination,” yet you also push the idea of “no self.” So I wonder, if there is no self, what exactly is it you’re suggesting that one discover, realize, and examine?

  5. when you work that one out, you’re enlightened.

    but the simple answer is the self you reffer to out of expediency is a semantic construct that you use on the way to transcending the self. points on a continuum.

    and i don’t know if I ‘push’ anything. this is a website. people come to me.

  6. Sorry, probably could’ve chosen a better verb besides “push.” At any rate, I guess it is the sort of thing that must be experienced. When I think of my “self,” my hopes, fears, desires, beliefs, etc. come to mind. I must be excused for my reluctance to give them up.

  7. you don’t need to give them up. just the idea that they belong to some sort of separate, controlling, permanent, observing entity that isn’t actually there. actually giving up limited or dysfunctional or conditioned ideas or beliefs is a different issue. somewhat related but not attatched.

  8. “The idea that your sense of self is not really any different than the sense of your foot, and that neither one is the seat of awareness, is kind of odd, yet this is a doorway to liberation. When I actually observed this yesterday ( as opposed to merely working it out intellectually, which is fine, but useless for real insight), my mind was apparently so shocked by that, it spend all night trying to find a new reference point.”

    This lack of a centre (as an actual experience) is one of the many possible results of a fruition, and I certainly had that experience after my first time. I don’t mean that it IS fruition – I should be more careful with my language.

    What does your teacher say?

  9. Sorry, forgot to mention:

    Chris – the idea is to look at the self, not in an intellectual fashion, but to actually observe the actual experience of self, everyday for a long time. Eventually you will come to experience something about yourself/the universe that is impossible to talk about, but in order to speak of the practice this is unavoidable. So people say you realise ‘no-self’ or ’emptiness’ or ‘nothingness’, and although this is as close as you can get to it in language, it is still nevertheless incorrect.

    This new understanding is an addition to what you already experience as self – you don’t go anywhere nor do you give anything up; you just understand youself and your place in the universe in a different way.

  10. It’s not really my teacher’s style to give straight answers to questions like that, and by now I’m as well read in the models as he is, probably.

    the only thing he ever said clearly about it was when I was stuck in some dark night psychosis, and he urged me to do more samatha jhanna to level out.

    that said, i think i got over the hump last night, so we’ll give it a few days and see how it all pans out.

  11. “I think it’s just when you stop the mental twister game in your head, you have all these other limbs free and extra attention to like, levitate your begging bowl or stop bullets in the air and shit.”

    So you are saying that it’s possible to levitate a bowl and stop bullets in the air without some anti-gravity technology and a bulletproof west? Sorry I’m pretty new to this possibility, maybe I should just wait for your posts on this but this is a huge attack on “common sense” and what people generally believe to be possible, is there anyone who can do this today? What makes you think this is possible?

  12. “… but when someone is swinging a naginata at you, which is a six foot staff with a three foot razor blade on the end, it might be more clear.”

    That happened to me yesterday.

  13. Hey Zac,

    I know you mentioned before you were doing weight training. I think you might be interested in this expiriment I am doing on myself. I am trying to reprogram my nevrous system, to change my body into that of a classic mesomorph. I am using the model of the eight circuits of consciousness utilizing the sixth, metareprogramming circuit.

    You mentioned you are trying to prefect your weightlifting form and so forth, which is good. It maybe possible to take your form to a whole new level and reprogram your enocrine system and build strong muscles with your mind. Not that you will stop lifting weights, but an ectomorph, say, with perfect form will never be as strong as a mesomorph with OK form.

    Check it out if you are intersted.

  14. well, binni, I may have been somewhat facetious with the stopping bullets in the air. I’ve never seen or heard of anyone doing that.

    telekinesis, pyromancy, telepathy, precognition, flight, spontaneous healing, bilocation, animal empathy, superhuman speed, teleportation, clairvoyance, materialisation of objects, invisibility, projected images, aura seeing ( and pretty much every weird sense you can think of )…those i have some basis for thinking are real and some i have even seen, and one or two I’ve even done, under the right conditions.

    it’s not that big of a deal, but it does sound outrageous on the face of it if you just put it out there.

    …actually now that i think of it, some of the native amercian adepts during the indian wars learned to deflect american bullets with ‘spheres’ of spirit power if memory serves, but it wasn’t too reliable. easy to see why.

    i have all kinds of mixed emotions talking about this stuff too much cause it almost always puts weird ideas in people’s heads, and it almost always distracts people from things that are much more pragmatic, reliable and easier to do, and have much more lasting benefits for life and spiritual growth. when i first started writing i almost exclusively condemmned developing powers as an abberation, more out of caution than anything else, but now that my body of work is big enough to present a balanced view on the subject, people can plow through it and make up their own minds.

    I’m actually planning a detailed exploration of this realm to establish it more clearly for myself, but for the time being feel free to dismiss my ravings as the products of an imbalanced mind.

  15. In connection with the above, I like to quote Fortean reasearcher Mike Dash, who wrote (something like): ‘If there is a sixth sense, it’s a lot less useful and reliable than the other five.’

  16. originally, before life evolved the eye. Vision was not a very reliable sense either, and word is that in those days lots of little organisms were quite skeptical of it…

  17. If psychic powers enable people to reproduce more successfully, then there may be something in this argument. Otherwise, it commits the fallacy of regarding evolution as a ‘predetermined’ process.

    The highest chakra, Sahasrara, is traditionally depicted as above the body, or outside the human anatomy – which seems suggestive in this regard. In other words, maybe psychic abilities arise from a process of transcendance, rather than the body itself?!

  18. ‘If there is a sixth sense, it’s a lot less useful and reliable than the other five.’

    “and the next weakest is smell.”

    haha… get a clue!

    or continue believing those shadows on the cave wall are reality.

  19. when it comes to expressing irony, you’re no oscar wilde.
    “obvious irony” to you, but what about the rest of us?
    keeping your jokes to yourself? or defending your ill thought out comment (easily brused ego)?

    Lets get to the nitty gritty:

    there IS a sixth sense, it’s a lot less useful and reliable than the other five WHEN IT IS UNDEVELOPED

    and the next weakest is smell WHEN IT IS UNDEVELOPED

    Maybe… should spend less time perfecting weightlifting form – instead, put that form to WORK

  20. Zac,

    Yeah. I think you are right about things getting lost in translation. Maybe some really sophisticated emoticons are in order. I think Tim Boucher talked about designing some ate one point…or was it that emoticons will replace language?

    Oh well….

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