well. that’s another week of my life I won’t be getting back.

Much of my practice has stagnated, partially because of an ill-advised binge of internet checkers, of all things, partly because I’ve been feeling a bit sick, and partly because I’ve realised if anything is going to get done vis a vis the clinic I’m involved in, it’s business practices, decision making and whatnot, I’m going to have to do it mostly myself. While I was doing security work, and assuming it was getting along satisfactorily, the real situation has been a combination of naive indifference, and benign neglect. So it’s roll up your sleeves for interminable meetings, green meme hand wringing, and attempts at financial success through the grace of god. Sounds ludicrous? So it should. It did to me too, when I realised this was the ‘business plan’.

Anyway, I’ve probably backslid in my insight practice to a somewhat less pleasant stage of agitation and irritating vibrational phenomena. I spent much of yesterday night trying to make that up, and get back to where I was, which is close to ‘fruition’ as it were.

Part of that is coming to a certain level of acceptance with my situation, and the basic facts of life in general. It’s one of those classic ‘ you can only move from where you are, not from where you aren’t ‘ kind of things. I have no fear of the truth. I just need to find it first.

There’s no point thinking about stage 5 of the alchemical intiative, when stage 2-3 is faltering. Build a realtionship with reality, kids, it will do you well.

Luckily, money continues to fall from the sky. I wouldn’t want to build a lifestyle on it, but that’s pretty much what i’m doing right now. I have turned from the David Blaine of occultism, into the Cosmo Kramer of occultism. Such is my burden. Quiet dignity is my only option.

The gym is a highlight. I didn’t get into it to look better, but it’s nice to see that I do. That and either I’m getting a lot stronger, or I’m just using what I’ve got in a more coordinated fashion. Bit of both I guess. My cardio training approaches the level of ascetic mortification. But you gotta discharge the stress somewhere, might as well be in the gym.

My work on this site is faltering as well, mostly for lack of a coherent idea. Not lack of ideas, i have plenty of those. just a certain level of cohesion which ‘my mind’ seems to lack in general right now.

dietarily, I’m doing somewhat better. I’ve been doing a mineral supplement consistently twice a day, and it seems to have helped. More water though. I’m sweating a lot lately.

Got some new glasses, which I’ve only needed for about a year now. Let this herald a new aeon of clarity.

and the updated goals list, of course… 

-one hour of just jhanna, seated, every day

-another hour just vipassana, every day
-take my ordination test

-stretch my neck and inguinal area twice a day rather than just once, as I do now.

-perfect my weightlifting form

-clean up my diet definitively, so as to remove my recently acquired allergies and maintain good energy levels ie; eliminate bread, dairy, pesticides, additives and whatnot as much as possible. eat more fresh food.

-get a new mic

-fast one day a week

-stop swearing altogether, except for artistic usages.

-assess my material possessions and dispose of anything extraneous asap.

-create something for the site every day, even if it’s crap and I throw it out right away.

-get a cellphone to receive calls for the clinic, prefferably one I’m not paying for..

-get the website up to a traffic level where ads and donations are a significant portion of my income ie; post something every day, for starters.

-variously, attract business propositions on the basis of my work here.



5 thoughts on “Magickal Record 03-09-07

  1. Whoa. I wasn’t expecting that. I come here for suggestions about my own life, and now I feel like I should be offering some advice of my own. I guess the trouble with reaching new heights – in physical training, emotional stability, intellectual understanding, or anything – is that if it’s not sustainable, the comedown can be pretty harsh. Note to self: When you contact your HGA, have an exit strategy planned out!

    Actually, the only vaguely clever thing I can think of to say (and that’s only because its what I am saying to myself at the moment) is – when was the last time YOU had a massage? Or a sauna. Or sat in a floatation tank. Or just sat in the park trying to mind-control the squirrels? You get my point. Be nice to yourself! Cultivate playfulness! Ensure that you could moonlight as a clown at children’s parties if necessary…. Never mind wrestling with the angels, that’s something I would find properly scary!

    [I nearly submitted this without asking what I was going to ask – how come you decided to give up the Ninjutsu? I’m interested particularly because I was thinking of trying out a Ninjutsu class to supplement the Ba Gua, but had misgivings about the kind of people it might attract – present company excblahblah – like when I went to the Shaolin Temple and it was filled with ex-boxer-type hard-cases with very little interest in Buddhism. You mention ‘ethical issues’ – I’m intrigued. Plus, what is (?Vienamese? Indonesian? I forget now) Kung Fu like? Questions, questions…]

  2. funny, i got a new prescription recently for my eyeballs only to discover that for a year my contacts had been too weak and my glasses too strong.

    if you need to get some business rolling my advice is to wake up at six am, take some stimulants, run everywhere and bump into people in order invoke that New York “LET’S MOVE PEOPLE! GO GO GO!” attitude to whip those west-coast canadians and their marijuana-based lifestyles into fighting shape. write down everything you want to do. look at each item. if you can do it in two minutes (ten on the west coast) do it now. everything else either give to someone more competent, schedule a date, or start on.

    Meetings? at a massage clinic? Green meme-schreen meem. Use the Richard Bandler “Your Ass Is Mine” Technique.

  3. fear not lads, you just caught me in a particularly nauseating bit of insight hangover. I cannot believe I actually recommend this stuff to people. I must be fucking mental.

    in any event the dam broke just after I finished writing this, which is probably why I wrote in the first place.

    I didn’t have the wherewithal to keep up the ninjitsu cheeba. it was only me and two other guys at the end, and one of them was worse than useless. an unnecissary splitting of focus right now.

    as for the kung fu; i like it alright. he just calls it kung fu, but he also calls it silat or wu kung or kuntao, or whatever he feels like at the moment. his teacher did that to him. it had all those names over the centuries, depending on what country it was in. being buddhists, they don’t seem to care much what you call it. the techniques don’t even have names. I doubt you’d find anything quite like it, and I’m not sure how to describe it anyhow. I’d stick with the bagua if you’re fortunate enough to find someone who doesn’t just make you walk the circle for ten years.

    by all means try some ninjitsu if you can find someone who isn’t a complete fuckwit. and in the bujinkan, that’s a bit of work, sometimes.

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