I start my new job on monday, rousting junkies out of doorways in the morning.

I saw ‘pay it forward’ last night, and despite the heavy handed execution and cheap shock tactics at the end, I admire the central premise of the film.

It can be very hard to look at things with innocent eyes. Even though there are no real concrete reasons why the world cannot be a much happier place, most of have a hard enough time with our own wounds, to care about anyone elses.

I find myself wondering what I could possibly do for one of these wounded souls. I suppose there are lots of possibilities for giving, but how do you know you’re not doing more harm than good? The psychology of addiction is complex and hard to resolve. The alienation of living on the streets is perhaps even more so. I know very well the alienated feeling of being on the margins of society, never mind in the basement of society.

The simple truth is that you cannot know what anyone else will do with your offering, or what will happen to them. The crux of the matter is not one of giving, but of belief that giving makes any difference. I submit that it doesn’t matter whether it makes any diffference to the recipient or not. That is out of your hands and always will be. The difference made comes in one’s own soul.

The human mind is not often complex enough to understand the way in which all events interconnect. To insist on a linear cause and effect to your kindness is to ignore the full depth of the possiblities of human intention.

It would be nice to motivate people towards hope, without hitting them over the head with another martyr complex. That age is gone, that god is gone.

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